i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
