I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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