College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
