Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize