remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
