dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize