So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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