We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
