at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize