i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
