Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
