I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I still have a little drunk in my system
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
