I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
