she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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