Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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