so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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