im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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