It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
