i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
