I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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