Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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