how can u be prego again
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
