So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
