this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
