omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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