He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
