I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
