Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
