im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
