Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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