im holly from the hills drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
