You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize