I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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