well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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