is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
