I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
