i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
