A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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