This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
