every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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