Pappa wants mamma naked
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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