either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
