Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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