there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
