I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
