The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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