i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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