That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize