oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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