and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
