so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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