she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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