Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
