omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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