Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
