youre lurking in front of me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
