I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
