You really coming over, don't trick.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
