So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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