I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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