I want to have your abortion
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
