fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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