Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
