I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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