We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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