nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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