like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
