Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
