DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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