I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
